Sunday, March 29, 2009

Amateur Antics - Now what?

Earlier in the week, while driving, I got stuck behind something that scared the daylights out of me.

A rock hauler, ReformingGeek?

Nope. Although I will go out of my way to get out of THEIR way.

So was it a school bus on a road with 20 railroad crossings?, although that's enough to drive most sane people to the nuthouse.

It must have been a large truck carrying cute little potty cans that weren't quite empty?

No. Not even that. This is much worse. It was.......


I've totally forgotten what it feels like to be 15 and behind the wheel with a bunch of other hormone-infused teenagers in the backseat and a geeky (HEY WAIT A MINUTE), dorky, and/or nerdy instructor in the front seat.

Here are some of my favorite behaviors from student drivers. Don't even get me started on adults. That's fodder for a different post.

" I supposed to drive on this part of the road, Mr. Dibbits", said the student driver while crossing the double-yellow line.

"I'm going up a hill and I seem to have forgotten how to use the accelerator pedal" speaks the subconscious mind of the crazed boy-child behind the wheel.

"Oh dear. I've just made a right turn while signaling left", subliminally delivered while girl-child driver is noticing a new pimple as she glances in the rearview mirror.

A couple of other characteristics of inexperienced drivers driving with an instructor:
  • If in doubt, STOP. Anywhere, anytime. This is apparently acceptable behavior and it must be some kind of exercise to test the student's ability to find the brake pedal. This behavior must be hereditary as it seems to occur with each generation of new drivers.
  • I think this one must be hammered into the already full stacks (brains) of these poor teenagers: You must drive below the speed limit. Yeah. I remember being taught that. It didn't take.

Although I was behind a student driver, I was patient and did make the poor car look like this:

Be careful out there folks!

Photo credits: Porta-Potty: Cpt. Obvious, Student driver: Patrick Doheny, Creative Commons via a Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 Generic license.


Marissa said...

These are all the same behaviors for elderly drivers. Also, I'm scared of all Porta-Pottys, stationary or otherwise.

Unknown said...

I never realized all of those behaviors existed in teen drivers. Until now, when you point them out all in one place. My son was guilty of all of these. Come to think of it, so was I.

ReformingGeek said...

@Marissa - Believe it or not, I was in one yesterday and there was actually toilet paper and hand-sanitizer!

@Dizzblnd - I'm sure I was too.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gawsh Reffie!

We are on the same wave length again!

This is getting spooky girlfriend.

Are you and I pod people?

heh heh

And yes student drivers are very scary. Scarier than vampires, zombies, or even pod people!


Julia D said...

Oooh, let this be a lesson: beware the porta-potty, and beware the student driver. If you ever encounter both in one day, the apocalypse is nigh.

United Studies said...

I hate getting stuck behind student drivers who are crawling through an intersection to make a left. The kind where the light turns green, and by the time they are halfway through, the light turns red again.

And I will admit to being one of the student drivers that would turn on the left turn signal when turning right, and vice versa. Would drive my dad crazy!

Tracy Rambles On And On said...

See, my experience as a student driver was way different. My Drivers Ed. teacher, Mr. Fragile, always went to sleep in the passenger seat and right before he settled in for his nap, he would always say "Just drive wherever. The only rules I have are that we don't cross state lines and you don't try to take the car "Mud bogging".. again."
For those of you not familiar with the term "mud bogging" it's where you purposely drive your pimped up monster truck into the mud and try to get stuck on purpose.
I only did it once in the little Toyota Camry car used for Drivers Ed. and we didn't even get stuck but for some reason, he made it a rule from then on out.
He also had a bad habit of waking up, mid-dream maybe, and immediately stomped on the break that he had on his side of the car.
A lot of people got "break tests" on the highway because of that and they always flipped me off and it wasn't even my fault! I didn't hit the break! I was busy holding the gas pedal down on the floor!

Tracy Rambles On And On said...

And honestly, because I have a tiny touch of Obsessive Compulsive going on, I would have chosen to drive behind the student driver than the porta potty!
Those things are evil!

Meg said...

I've got a new Teen Driver in my family and I'll take the potty truck any day.

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirky - Yes, we are pod people, good pod people!

@Julia D - The apocalypse? Now I'm scared.

@Jacki - Your poor dad!

@Tracy - I'm going to be on the lookout for you.

@Prefers - Good luck with the teen!

Ed said...

I like to pass them and look at their car real scared like and then point at something. Freaks them out...

Unknown said...

Okay I am LMAO mainly because any day now I will have a student as in own one...the only reason she hasnt started drivers ed yet is b/c cheerleading conflicts with the drivers ed...I am VERY affraid!

ReformingGeek said...

@VE - Yeah. I would expect that from you, VE.

@georgie - She'll do fine!

Shawn said...

Yeah, you gotta watch those student drivers. I remember our driving instructor used to make us drive with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. Said it cut down on reaction time.

Super Baby Black Jesus said...

Oh Geez, I got one training now...of course not in my car.

dani said...

That was my comment above, sorry forgot to switch names..

The Constant Complainer said...

I'm glad insurance companies force teens to take the driver's ed course. And this may cause me to get some heat, but I've often said there needs to be a mandatory driving test (annually) for senior citizens once they reach a certain age. Sorry, but it's true!

ReformingGeek said...

@Shawn - Hum....don't think I ever mastered that one.

@dani - Good Luck, Hon!

@Constant - Unfortunately, there are really bad drivers of every age.

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"