Hell HAS frozen over, folks. The devil has replaced his pitchfork with a snow shovel and has taken up ice carving. If you find yourself sentenced to the place down under, your punishment might be to carve the likeness of Justin Bieber's mug shot.....FOREVER.
Since the "hot" place is now frozen, why I am not getting all those things I asked for and was told "When Hell freezes over?"
Mystery solved. I've been lied to all my life.
Other lies:
- Spring will be here soon.
- This won't hurt a bit.
- It won't leave a scar.
- Try it, you'll like it.
- "You have won..."
- This way is shorter.
- I know exactly where I am.
- Your face will stick that way.
I just realized I say that last one to Evil Twin all the time.
Go directly to Hell and read the other frozen entries.
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11 comments:
How about, he's a nice boy?!?
"The devil has replaced his pitchfork with a snow shovel and has taken up ice carving" -- HA!! That totally made me laugh out loud.
Hah! Very funny stuff, Reffie. I would also add 'Not much longer' to that list. :-)
This won't hurt a bit... OH SO TRUE!!!!!
@laughingmom - Yes, good one!
@meleah - Hee Hee.
@Nicky - Not much longer. Yep. Another good one.
@Katherine - Liars, all of them!
Good ones!
This way is shorter...maybe but it's not better. Personally I don't think it's shorter.
I like your list. I would add "Eat your crusts. There are starving kids in India" To which I would respond "Then send them my crusts." And my father would say "Do you want to go to your room?" I learned about rhetorical questions when I was very young.
I think you SHOULD get all those things you asked for and were told "when hell freezes over." Including the pony. Especially the pony.
Isn't Hell suppose to freeze over because of global warming?
I have a soft spot for lists of complaints, and this one did not disappoint.
"Spring will be here soon" reminded me of the catch phrase, "Winter is coming." Random thought, but I figured it was tangentially relevant.
Try it, you'll like it... haha -- so true.
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