Thursday, March 12, 2009

I'd Rather Be......a goose?

"I'd Rather Be... " Facebook needs to allow that to be an option for the "what are you doing" question. Afterall, many of us would rather be doing something else, right?

Anyway, back to today's post. Life has not been overly humorous lately but I'm trying so work with me here.

I love this joke. My friend reminded me of it the other night after a bit of tequila and we were talking about the rumor that a Dallas Cowboy football player has bought the property behind our house:
What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?

The ability to fill a stadium with 70,000 people shouting "Jesus Christ!"
She did a good job telling the joke. I need more tequila to tell good jokes (or dance).

That's right. Down here in Texas, our relationship with the Dallas Cowboys drives us to drink or find religion. Maybe both. I'm ready for baseball and I'm sure the Texas Rangers will drive me to the edge of sanity again this year.

As for our proposed new neighbor, we have yet to see anybody at the property. One would think the owner might have at least visited the property. The other part of the rumor is that they are going to tear down the airplane hangar (SACRILEGE!) and build an "all green" house.
Hum....can't they pick some other color of paint? I bet all that green will get really boring.

Yeah. OK. I know that's not what they are talking about but I couldn't resist. The other rumor is that they have since sold the property to someone else. Whatever.

It's been raining here for the last few days and it's effing cold. I know. it's my fault. I complained about it being too dry and I was enjoying the warm weather. Mother Nature is up to her usual tricks. The rain must come all at once and we must be humbled with cold weather. Thanks, Mom. That slap in the face hurt!

With the rain and the full moon we've had, I've encountered some very grumpy folks lately. Can't anyone deal with a non-ideal situation without complaining?

Apparently not.

At the gym where I work, here's a few of my favorites this week (and they really do sound like geese sometimes):

1. Why aren't the TV's working?
[Pasting on plastic smile, fighting off evil twin]: They're working on it. There is a lot of construction here. Anything could have happened. Yes. We paid the the bill. I'm sorry you can't watch March Madness. I can't watch Fox News butcher yet another news story, check out the latest infomercial, or better yet, I can't watch Oprah.

Yeah right. I don't watch Oprah. Don't get me started.

2. "Can't you turn the music up?", said the whining member. "I can't hear it. Without the TV's we need louder music."

Um....sure. OK.
Evil twin: Ever think of saying Please?

3. Same person, a few minutes later, with a huge shoulder-dropping sigh, "You turned the music down."

Yes. I can't hear to talk to members that are asking me questions at the front desk.
Evil twin: There is no pleasing you today, huh?

I know. I'm in a non-ideal situation and I'm complaining. That's irony for you.

May you be free of whining geese today.

ReformingGeek thanks Creative Commons for the photos:
Grumpy Goose: freebird4
Licensed under Attribution-NonCommercial No Derivative Works 2.0 Generic


Anonymous said...

Why I have never heard that joke before! Me likey! Gave me a good LMBBO!

And I know about the never pleasing thingy...I caught myself in one those conundrums the other day. I stopped, but somehow, I wasn't happy about it! hee hee

Anonymous said...

Wow. Do you an airplane hangar too? (With an airplane to match?) And here I'm jealous that all my neighbors have swimming pools!

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirky - I'm sure you never complain!

@Marissa - We don't have a hangar. We have an airplane with another couple and it's kept at another airport. Open up a big hole in they sky. Toss money in it. That's the way it works.

I would love to have a pool.

Elizabeth said...

I don't know how you keep yourself from just losing it with a customer, they sound like a buch of whiny kids!

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

What a fantastic blog you have going here girl!! This a hilarious post :)
If you have a moment or two of your time to waste, please visit me at my blog and say hello.
Take good care and.........

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I personally have been known to honk a few complaints here and there.

ReformingGeek said...

@Elizabeth - Today, it sure felt like it.

@Midlife - Thanks.

@Queen-Size - We are only human.

Marvel Goose said...

Everyone hates whiney customers until... they are a customer! Now its OUR turn!

As a customer of this blog, I do need to complain that you did not make this blog about me. Here you were in my mail box enticing my ego with the title "I'd Rather be... a goose?"

Such a downer when I saw it wasn't me.

My testosterone levels immediately went down to the basement and I added at least a cup size and my voice register went up a notch.

You emasculator, you! Wank! Wank!

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed your Cowboys joke. Didn't the taxpayers just build them a new stadium??? There's another reason to yell J*sus Chr*st.

ReformingGeek said...

@Marvel - I'm so sorry. Please take a man pill and you'll be fine. You should probably be glad that the picture does not resemble you.

@Constant - Yeah. The new stadium is in Arlington with everything else (Six Flags, Ballpark, Water Park). Apparently, we don't like to spread things out.

Dee said...

hey I have an evil twin too!
Funny joke

Unknown said...

Damned customers !!

ReformingGeek said...

@Dee - Thanks. Glad to know I'm not alone.

@Dani - Yeah and I know I'm like that sometimes too.

Bee said...

From now on, to all the complainers, just sing that McDonald's Filet-o-fish song. It will make them think you're weird and never bother you again.

Suzanne said...

If life has not been overly humorous git yourself to WalMart! I find it very inspirational.

My oldest loves The Dallas Cowboys, I'm telling him that joke. We live near Cleveland so my kids have picked other teams to cheer for, because, well, all we have are the Cleveland Browns - a fate worse than death.

ReformingGeek said...

@Bee - Hum....I don't think I know that one and they already know I'm weird.

@Sue - I don't know. Those greeters scare me.

Jean Knee said...

dahlin, the Dallas Cowboys are their own religion.

bad spring break timing on that cold effin rain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"